Glass test tubes . . . (episode 66)

image by 'gameanna'

image by ‘gameanna’

May 31 1999

3A Hyde Park Terrace

Dear Mum

It feels like an aeon since I last wrote. I have been very busy acquiring a large collection of glass vessels, and decorative base plates, for my endeavours with flower arranging. And having read my way through a gigantic tome entitled ‘Flowers’ I am now trying out all manner of ideas involving glass test tubes and water melons! Use of the latter object has meant acquiring a spiked metal carving tray (to embed the fruit upon) and I have also been scouring the park/streets for suitable wild flowers to use (the ‘Flowers’ tome appears to favour the ‘artisan’ style of adorning glass with plant material.) I must say that Cow Parsley – in combination with pink False Valerian – has proved to be just the sort of pairing that goes well will the colouration of a water melon! I have also asked the Denizens café if they might be willing to display one or two of my latest confections (free of charge; I am a novice). And they said ‘Yes!’ I haven’t, as yet, taken any round there as – gazing upon the coloured stones adorning two of my base plates – it occurred to me that it would be just my luck if a local infant got one wedged in its trachea and asphyxiated! I am going to have to resort to the use of a double-sided sticky fastener and that may not look too aesthetic.

I am so glad, as I know you will be too, that the Red Rose party – led so toothily by Mr Timothy Bear MP – has expelled the Blue Ribbon party by such a magnificent majority! Perhaps the struggling poor – not to mention the struggling fox – might both now have improved chances of survival. And although it is most delightful that my ex-husband is also an ex- MP, he will (sadly) no longer have the weight of a lead-lined red box to impede his traverses across Hyde Park. I only mention this personage Mum as I unfortunately encountered him in the alley which runs across the end of my terrace. I had hoped that – time having passed – I might have fully recovered from such sightings. However, I did rather find myself yelling, “Get Out Austen. And stay out.”

I think I need a distraction Mum. But whenever I spend time in a bar, at night, dripping with diamond earrings and décolletage, I seem to wind up with the likes of Edgar Hummingway. And in the light of my experiences in the Castro Central Women’s Prison – not so many months ago – I think I’d better confine myself to activities involving glass test tubes and water melons! (For a while at least.) There is certainly no normal-looking, or even faintly-desirable, male here in the Denizens café today.

How did your scans go by the way? Hopefully ‘No Return District General Hospital’ has not kept you in!

Love as ever



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