Mole intelligence: EPISODE 35

Helipad
The Rooftop
SIS HQ
Vauxhall Cross
LONDON SE1

June 23 1997

Nephew

If you are reading this now, then you will have opened the sealed metal canister which has just descended from the firm’s MH-6 ‘Little Bird’ black helicopter – and rapped upon the glass of your drug rehabilitation ‘cell.’ Take note. This paper will self-incinerate in 60 seconds.

Thank you for letting me visit you immediately upon receipt of your last missive. This mission would not have been possible had you not let me implant a Radio Frequency Identification transponder into the skin beneath your shoulder blades. I hope the small battery has not been too knobbly and impeded sleep? I have needed it – in conjunction with my transport’s thermographic cameras – to locate your position with exactitude. After all, it you appeared to be napping on your single divan – and glowing yellow in the dark – I would be required to rap with greater force upon the window with the steel-descending cable. And do not underestimate pet, the fine motor controls required to keep a helicopter in trim, with an equality of torque above and to the rear!

This is possibly not the moment, but I may just have time to fill you in regarding the historical use of ‘little black helicopters’ in the US of A. These were built specifically as a means of stealth surveillance of that country’s citizens in the early part of this decade. You may have seen the prototype – which had a capacity for virtually-silent flying – in the film ‘Blue Thunder.’ You will barely be hearing the swish of my rotor blades at this present moment. Nevertheless. I am overhead. And, of course, if an object – such as a person – was implanted with ‘active’ Radio Frequency Identification, the ‘little black helicopter’ would be equipped to read the emitted ultra wide band radio waves, from some hundreds of meters distant. You are a tracked object pet!

I will proceed to the point of my epistolary communication however. If Miss Fothergill plays up – and I intend to visit once the no-visitor (and confiscation of your mobile telephone) period is over – then rest assured that I will certainly pick her up and transport her out to the Gobi desert in Mongolia. She may well spend quite some months emerging from this destination, as I hear that ‘desertification’ is proceeding apace and extending the expanse by some thousands of miles – in all directions – every year. Of course, I may have to borrow the firm’s Sikorsky UH-60 ‘Black Hawk’ for this purpose; it is more accommodating!

Yours

Aunt Evangeline (‘C’ – retired)

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3 thoughts on “Mole intelligence: EPISODE 35

  1. josna

    I must say, the very thought of that implant makes me squirm, though I suppose it’s in a good cause. But Evangeline is not one to squirm at trifles like that—she is clearly up on the latest technology, and will use it if she can get her hands on it and it serves her needs. What an aunt–she marshalls all her (not inconsiderable) resources in the aid of her loved ones! I can see why she would have been a top agent. And what a comfort to poor Ralph, who must be feeling very alone.
    I’m a bit confused about Miss Fothergill (even while giggling at the thought of her making her way back from the Mongolian desert): is she Ralph’s cat, and is she staying with Ralph in his drug rehab incarceration (can’t imagine they would allow that) or with Aunt Evangeline herself? I suppose I could find the answer if I re-read some back entries.

    Reply
  2. kristin

    I remember when a cousin of mine became interested in the black helicopter’s are going to destroy us thing. He got a video from some militia or gun show people and had gathered us all (at my house) to watch this. My uncle Henry and I kept wise cracking and talking through it. At one point he turned it off “until we were quiet”. Ha! Good luck with that one. He finally gave up and turned it back on. I don’t remember the details. we were supposed to be very afraid after seeing it. He might have benefited from some time with Ms. Gothergill out in the Gobi.

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